100 word challenge #20

As I was biking down the road on my brand new bike I stopped to have a break, a few minutes later a gang of horrible teenagers came and stole my brand new yellow bike.  When I walked angrily back home I found my brand new yellow bike but it was not brand new anymore. The chain was busted and the wheels were flat.  There was a little note on the handlebars saying,   “Have fun getting back home now!” Silly little fellas. They didn’t know that they had tied my bike onto  the lamp post right outside of my house.

2 thoughts on “100 word challenge #20”

  1. Greetings from Australia Liam. Congratulations on your response to this week’s challenge. I found your text engaging, and I loved the ending! I can see that you generate interesting ideas for writing. Your careful choice of vocabulary makes your writing interesting to read. I suggest that you re-read and edit – especially for punctuation, or ask a friend to check for you before you publish. You don’t need to say ‘came and stole’ because someone can’t steal unless they have come to the place. It is what we call redundant (or unnecessary). To further improve your writing, try starting a sentence with a verb, rather than when eg instead of ‘When I walked angrily.., try ‘Walking angrily..’. 😊

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